Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie -- the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits -- buy them in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt; a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down, just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons -- buy some gin.
12. Forget about the perfect man -- he's living in San Francisco with his boyfriend.
13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.
14. If it has tires or testicles it's gonna give you trouble.
15. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.